4 Things I wish the Church had told me about marriage

 A lot of weddings are happening in my life this year, and our own 2 year anniversary is coming around the corner - whoa. So marriage is on my mind lately, and there are a few things I wish the Church had told me about being a Christian and being married. Specifically four. There are four big things.


I. It's more fun than dating: Why didn't you tell me this? Marriage is so much more fun than dating!!! It's awesome!!! But why didn't I know that when I was growing up? You can order the jumbo popcorn AND the sour patch watermelons at the movie theater, because you share bank accounts. You share inside jokes, secret hand gestures, failed dinner attempts and moments of worry and sorrow. When someone comes into your prayer life, you get to celebrate together the good things that God has done, and even the small ways you see Him working.

II. It's a picture of the Gospel: No one ever explained this to me. I heard a lot about submission and respect, but no one ever made the connection. Christians get married to live out the Gospel through love for one another - wow, awesome. I didn't even consider this growing up, but someone told us early on that our marriage was our #1 ministry. That's a weird way to think about it when your husband is a youth minister, because it definitely feels like our #1 ministry is YOUTH ministry. But over the summer I got a glimpse of what this can mean. One of our girls had taken my phone out and was flipping through pictures of Garrett and I. At one point she stopped on this one picture and started crying, which honestly isn't all that unusual for Jr. High girls. But eventually she told me the story of her parents' rocky relationship and ended by saying 'I can tell you know he loves you'. It hit me right in the gut. I take for granted so often the hope and assurance I have in my marriage, but it spoke to this Jr. High girl. That's the picture I want her to have of how Jesus loves her, that's how I want her to feel when she puts her faith in Him. Our marriage should tell a story full of grace and security, it should be a reflection of how Christ loves His own Bride. I keep that picture handy to remind me of our end goal: that others would know Christ's love through the way we love each other.

III. Don't marry someone who is a good dad: I hear it a lot. You probably have too. But what if you don't have kids? What if you have kids and they grow up and move out? What then? If you married him because he was going to be such a good dad, the moment your kids have left the house - he has served the extent of is purpose. Marry someone you want to have kids with, but make sure you're looking at more than that. If you marry a good man, he's going to be a good dad.

IV. It's not forever: Yikes. What? No, seriously. Why don't we talk about this? There is no marriage in Heaven, and when you think about your marriage as being a picture of the Gospel - it makes sense. We won't need reminders of the Gospel when we are living with Jesus forever. Treasure this time you have together, but also understand that it's not forever - live accordingly.

I share all of this with you because growing up, I came from a broken family and I was looking for these answers. I'm with kids every week who come from different family backgrounds and histories, but they gather in one place - the church. It's our privilege to teach our youth what marriage means to the Body of Christ and what makes it different than what the world says about two people getting married.

Marriage is awesome, its important. Make your marriage your ministry.

With Love,

Emily LeVault