Monday, August 31, 2015

8 tips to surviving Small Town Life [from a city slicker]

Once upon a time a country mouse and a city mouse fell in love.
And it was bizarre for everyone involved.

I grew up in the massive metropolis of Springfield, Illinois and my sweet husband grew up in the middle of a field somewhere in Illinois - we come from different worlds.

There were a lot of culture shocks for me when I first got into Edinburg, honestly I'll write a book about it sometime. There were also a fair amount of culture shocks for Garrett when we moved to the booming city of Fort Wayne, Indiana. But the tides have turned and I find myself now LIVING in a small town - something I did not exactly dream of as a little girl.

 My time in Fort Wayne made me soft, according to Garrett, so this summer I have had to relearn these 8 essentials to survival in a small town. I think it's only fair that you have them as well for the next time you find yourself in a town that could fit its entire population into a good sized clown car.

1. Wave - at everyone. This is essential, this is the epitome of etiquette, you MUST do this in order to survive. If you don't wave, you're probably a snob and no one will trust you.

2. Learn something about corn. When all else fails, crops are a great fall back. Everyone sees them, they tell the weather, they tell the season, and someone always wants to complain about how tall-short-green-dry or dead they are. If you can make one intelligent corn comment, the farmers in the room will take it from there.

3. Do NOT ask where the Starbucks is, do NOT ask where the Dunkin' Donuts is. It's in the city, that's where it is and there's coffee at Casey's down the road. Also - you will be mocked.

4. Locking doors is optional. Most of the time no one will break in, the rest of the time intruders will be shot on sight. So really, don't worry about it.

5. Beware of the amount of privacy that exists in a small town - there is none. So if you're building a fence, grilling a steak or you're locked out of your house for the third time and you're crawling through the kitchen window - there will be someone who sees, someone will know.

6. Free range chickens. You know those cows that just roam around in India? Free range chickens, my friends, so stop staring.

7. The lingo will get to you. You will find yourself referring to traveling to the nearest Walmart as "going into town". Grab your bonnet, hitch up the horses and do not forget your wallet...this is no 15 minute trek.

8. The thing I have always found strangest about small town life is something I struggled to put my finger on at first. People move slower, they stop to talk to each other, they know their neighbors, you can just walk to someone's house for dinner and they aren't all that amazing at doing things on time. Here's why: for whatever reason, there still exists a level of grace for one another, a margin for error built right into small town life. It goes against my need for schedules and lists and rules and timeliness-that's for sure. But - hey- it works.

Since we moved I have found myself missing my daily Dunkin' and the seven minute commute to work. But as Garrett lovingly reminds me - there is not enough Dunkin' in the world to make up for being only 30 minutes away from my mom...and Sonic. So should you ever find yourself in a small town - I hope this helps you yuppies survive.

With Love,

Emily LeVault