I know most of them are dead -- I know they didn't have real toilets -- I know it's probably wrong.
But seriously...the Bible is full of really stupid people. People who just never really get it.
The entire first half of the book is all about one nation that just keeps flying at the windshield, the rest of it is a desperate plea for all present and future generations to "get it". But even the disciples (especially the disciples) just didn't get it.
So I totally judge them.
Sounds fair.
I've been reading the Bible for a while, since I could read actually, and when you read something repetitively you start to skim over the stories you already know- it's easy to do. One of those stories that I have "known" for forever is the one where Jesus calms the storm.
Jesus Calms a Storm
35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” 36 And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. 37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” 39 And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”41 And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
Yep. See. You know it too.
You probably first heard it in Bible School or Sunday School and you're like
"Wow! Jesus owned a boat!"
And then it comes around again in Jr. High at church camp and you're like
"Wow! Jesus is a water bender!"
By the time you're in high school and you're really a deep spiritual being you're like
"Wow. Jesus totally calms my storms in life."
So by the time you're a grown woman and you're reading through Mark before bed its something you can skim over, something you've heard a few times before.
Maybe this isn't your experience, for those of you not raised in the church it might not be. I completely respect that, and sometimes I envy you the newness of the scriptures.
But Jesus' followers are cowering in the bottom of a boat after a long hard day of witnessing miracles. So if you're like me and you grew up learning this story and you know how it ends -- it's easy to judge these guys.
Which is exactly what I've done.
As an adult I've read the entire passage leading up to this; it's mentioned in 3 of the 4 Gospels, and before each mention there are miracles of healing, Jesus declaring himself to be God's son, and parables that he explains in black and white to these same disciples.
So why am I blogging about all of this?
Well.
A few months ago I opened a letter from IPFW and inside was a scholarship that cut my tuition in half.
Wow. Amazing. Great news.
But the moment I finished reading the letter I got this horrible sinking feeling and this passage came to mind. Not because Jesus owns everything, not because he has the super ability to provide for his children, not even because Jesus had calmed my financial storm. I opened this letter, the storm was calmed, and I found myself in the bottom of the boat facing my Savior and heard him say "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?"
At this point an "oh crap" feeling had settled over me and the Holy Spirit and I watched a little montage of the last 14 years of my walk, all those storms that seemed like they would be the last one -- the storm that would finally drown me-- but I had survived each one. And here I was, in the bottom of the boat all over again, feeling the need to apologize to those disciples.
So why is this on my Fort Wayne blog? Well. This shouldn't come as a surprise but things have been a little stormy here; trying to get settled, be married, find friends and make dinner every single night (how did you do it, Mom?). There have been plenty of moments where I was pretty sure this Jesus dude was going to let me drown. But the same Savior -- who has been with me through illness, divorce and those awkward jr. high years -- He commanded me to get in this boat and go across this lake.
I have yet to drown.
But I'll keep you posted.
With Love,
Emily LeVault
P.S. This happened too.
